A miracle marriage

What is my purpose? It is hard for me to keep all of the parameters in my mind.
I need a reclusive chaplaincy.
I dont think I can give them what they want because Jesus doesn't give me any of what they ask for.
A man can only receive what has been given him from heaven

Also there is the issue of fellowship.
Christ offered the water of life. I am able to speak about His teachings.
Maybe brighten something.
The conditions of Christian openness do not apply in all circumstances. A christian can go into a strip club only when duty calls. It is just not the place to hang out. If a christian hangs out there then they are liable to lose their protective covering from God, and they will not be able to help anyone, including themselves. For the sake of appearances they should not even be outside the club.
They could maybe pass out tracks near the club.
So essentially. A christian cannot be where he should not be, or where the spirit of God warns him not to go.
If somehow the entire society should be devoid of the spirit, where is a christian to go then?
Well first, why is that the case, is it because of the world or because the Christian's heart is not right?
If it is because of the christian then they need to take a retreat and search their hearts and find out what it is that God needs them to do. Then they need to do it.
Their spiritual trouble might indicate a weakness on their part.

I think I have a weakness from premarital desires and if I am in a holy marriage then God can bless my desires. And close the portal to evil.
Because God would be able to approach something in my life that has been corrupted. By the congress with my ex I through him opened myself to unholiness. Because the man is the head of the woman and he is the priest and they share spirit. who knows what he had shared his spirit with last. who can imagine what he had opened himself up to, what he had invited, and what was associated with him.
I cannot submit to wifely duty to a man who is not covered by the grace of God because then I expose myself as well.
I should not even date anyone like this
I can barely be friends
I can offer chaplaincy
I am alone in the world and I will never get married, except by a miracle from God. Christ will draw all who are his to him.
so again my life is limited to the role of nun. I only mean that parameter-wise because I know that this will open up possibilities and be a wealth of opportunities
I need to read more on the life of nuns
I cannot hang out or go to parties anymore
I can barely do the much more mundane things
I cannot have others expect me to be normal, since I am restricted by my committment to God.
I am a vessel of God
Revirginated.