If God places His presence somewhere we have to honor it, if God surrounds something we must 'take off our shoes'
It is not the mountain, but the holy fire of God on the mountain
I believe that God must make His presence known to His children, so we should not be afraid of not seeing it
Saul did not recognize God's presence in His word
and took His word lightly
Even as God is above our dimensions
His word embodies His presence
and every word becomes full of judgment
bringing death or blessings
Do you think that they can create a personal purgatory that reflects a world full of your sins? Wouldnt that be awful, or is it a way for them to take the gems of the universe.
I honestly cannot keep track of my sins, because I am a sinner and sin naturally. But if I can keep track of each word of God then there might be some hope that Jesus will recognize me.
How can we see sin except through the word of God
How nice that God illustrated the reality of consequence with instant death in that instance.
How comfortable we are with death deferred
Sunday, December 26, 2004
Sunday, December 19, 2004
Life is meant to be enjoyed, like wine
Blessed Lord God, thank you for reminding me You have all power in your hands. You created people and their personalities and You have made them little masters of their universes, or masters of their little universes and they learn some things and create beauty from what they learn to control. By strength and skill they arrange what they cannot control, so that they can taste and drink in the essence of being.
Blessed Lord God there is no sin in life since life is meant to be enjoyed, it is You who created enjoyment and the parts we enjoy
But since life is precarious because of sin you insist that we anchor our focus in You and Your law in order to keep us from being consumed until we have passed through the trial of earth and can live fully in the new earth.
Blessed Lord God there is no sin in life since life is meant to be enjoyed, it is You who created enjoyment and the parts we enjoy
But since life is precarious because of sin you insist that we anchor our focus in You and Your law in order to keep us from being consumed until we have passed through the trial of earth and can live fully in the new earth.
Wholly and Completely
God please have mercy upon me
I need reverence because I want to worship you in my entire body and soul, and I need to know you wholly and completely. Acknowledging Your eternal majesty and becoming a pure instrument in Your hands.
I need reverence because I want to worship you in my entire body and soul, and I need to know you wholly and completely. Acknowledging Your eternal majesty and becoming a pure instrument in Your hands.
My Confidence
You are the only essential in the universe
You created us as expressions of yourself for a purpose
You will accomplish this purpose
When I recognized how fleeting the world was,
I agreed to die to it
Or I agreed to let things go
and accept what came
This came only after investigating my cherished desires and the things that I felt were important.
Then it was out of my hands and I became rested.
You created us as expressions of yourself for a purpose
You will accomplish this purpose
When I recognized how fleeting the world was,
I agreed to die to it
Or I agreed to let things go
and accept what came
This came only after investigating my cherished desires and the things that I felt were important.
Then it was out of my hands and I became rested.
Saturday, December 18, 2004
Let live
LIVE AND LET LIVE
my philosophy of life when all is madness
-----
They are ALLOWED to live as they choose God does allow this
my philosophy of life when all is madness
-----
They are ALLOWED to live as they choose God does allow this
Friday, December 17, 2004
Your angels are mighty
I suppose that I have not understood how fasting is considered humility, but I will make it a sacrifice of humility.
It is possible that I take some things for granted because of my rights through Christ
Christ already did everything, what is there for me to do?
Forgive me for not understanding, I am willing to understand if You would teach me .
I suppose that I am used to the Holy Spirit doing everything for me.
I am used to everything being done, I cannot believe that I have to do
things on my own.
God how is it possible that I do not understand this? Your angels are mighty. I am tired, everything is hard, what is it You want me to do?
I do not understand merciful one, what you want me to do. God I do not have the strength on my own, please in Your mercy help me to do what I want to do, which is really to do Your will for me. Help me.
It is possible that I take some things for granted because of my rights through Christ
Christ already did everything, what is there for me to do?
Forgive me for not understanding, I am willing to understand if You would teach me .
I suppose that I am used to the Holy Spirit doing everything for me.
I am used to everything being done, I cannot believe that I have to do
things on my own.
God how is it possible that I do not understand this? Your angels are mighty. I am tired, everything is hard, what is it You want me to do?
I do not understand merciful one, what you want me to do. God I do not have the strength on my own, please in Your mercy help me to do what I want to do, which is really to do Your will for me. Help me.
Thursday, December 16, 2004
The severity in which God holds these faults.
I am careless in my worship
I do not recognize my reality to God and heaven
I consider myself invisible and not noticed
I do not think of myself as taken seriously
so I do not take what I do or say seriously
I do not think that it is noticeable
If I were to believe that God considers us capable and expects us to behave as reasonable additions to His eternal court, well then I would be horrified by myself
But fortunately, I think of myself as one of the masses on earth scrabbling for a meager existence and that Jesus has perhaps spread over us the grace that we need to make it to heaven and then everything there could be taken seriously
otherwise it seems like there would be a lot of work and self monitoring and self consciousness
Also this whole thought monitoring, I thought all of these things could take place after the resurrection so that one
could one just scrape by while on earth
But,
no.
we must grow
and being perfect in one level
we must move on to the next
having been made perfect
or having done one's utmost!!!! and very best
God then covers with His grace what was lacking
and then it is time to be moved
But we must, after fear of change, be grateful-- for if God is still with us then we are forever a branch that is filled with His Spirit.
I do not recognize my reality to God and heaven
I consider myself invisible and not noticed
I do not think of myself as taken seriously
so I do not take what I do or say seriously
I do not think that it is noticeable
If I were to believe that God considers us capable and expects us to behave as reasonable additions to His eternal court, well then I would be horrified by myself
But fortunately, I think of myself as one of the masses on earth scrabbling for a meager existence and that Jesus has perhaps spread over us the grace that we need to make it to heaven and then everything there could be taken seriously
otherwise it seems like there would be a lot of work and self monitoring and self consciousness
Also this whole thought monitoring, I thought all of these things could take place after the resurrection so that one
could one just scrape by while on earth
But,
no.
we must grow
and being perfect in one level
we must move on to the next
having been made perfect
or having done one's utmost!!!! and very best
God then covers with His grace what was lacking
and then it is time to be moved
But we must, after fear of change, be grateful-- for if God is still with us then we are forever a branch that is filled with His Spirit.
Our Soul's Voices
We have taught instruments to sing, but aren't our souls closer to our own voices?
Wednesday, December 15, 2004
Refined Gold
So material a difference does it make, not what ills are suffered, but what kind of man suffers them. For, stirred up with the same movement, mud exhales a horrible stench, and ointment emits a fragrant odor. St. Augusting-City Of God
That's funny as though we were a large pot of raw material that is boiled to see which qualities each one of us posesses.
That's funny as though we were a large pot of raw material that is boiled to see which qualities each one of us posesses.
Monday, December 06, 2004
Something of God
"Something of God...flows into us from the blue of the sky, the taste of honey, the delicious embrace of water . . . " C.S. Lewis
Saturday, November 27, 2004
Exalted
The need to be special leads to so much evil in the world. Isn’t it what motivates the racists? Doesn't it motivate the money-grubbing greed? Everybody wants to be special.
From Strong's Concordance:
I think the word that clarifies the essence of the desire is higher, wanting to be higher (than self, others). A lack of contentment
It isn’t that you are not content with yourself, it is not really a self-criticism.
I think it is the criticism or categorization of others. The desire to be special specifically to others in the world. It is locating the focus of your esteem in the approval of others and not God. Apparently this need is strong enough to destroy the earth in greed and hatred. God made us special to Him as His unique children.
Copying something that I wrote about self criticism: Other-criticism is not always a bad thing. It can be overdone. Others should be accepted recognizing that God has given them life and that their purpose is to serve Him. He has made them adequate to accomplish His will. He has given them everything in life to enjoy.
I think that what is missing is the acceptance of other people. I am able to think of them as precious individually, because I believe that each soul that comes to God is a beautiful thing, and in this I am not a respecter of persons. But groups I have not learned to love. I am convinced that there is wickedness in the masses. I now think that this may be irrelevant. Jesus accepted the masses, but corrected individuals. I on the other hand am afraid of the masses of people and it is safer not to accept them for fear of missing what I want to do. It is almost like that 'I drew a circle' poem.
Isn't this fear where the love of money comes from, (and that love is of course the root of all evil). The need to be special and how this leads to all consuming fear vs acceptance of self and others with no fear.
Now God, what are we supposed to accept and what are we not supposed to accept.I think we are supposed to accept everything. This is the Bible’s definition of love. (1Cor13) I think what the point is is to accept the condition in which you find humanity, and to allow God to work out His purposes in His earth. Jesus never tried to change anything politically.I think that we are even to accept evil in some way and not resist, as Jesus never reviled at others and left the evil ones for God to rebuke.(It is a very complicated subject because Jesus always rebuked the wrong that the Pharisees did. )
1. Be nice to the masses who are just trying.
2. Undo the work of the oppressors.
3. Learn to accept the masses and not be afraid of them.
Instead of being consumed by fear, accept.
Also how to live as a Christian with those who are obviously partially possessed
From Strong's Concordance:
Exalt
AV-exalt 9, ... up 9, haughty 5, higher 4, high 3, above 1, height 1,proud
1, upward 1; 34
I think the word that clarifies the essence of the desire is higher, wanting to be higher (than self, others). A lack of contentment
It isn’t that you are not content with yourself, it is not really a self-criticism.
I think it is the criticism or categorization of others. The desire to be special specifically to others in the world. It is locating the focus of your esteem in the approval of others and not God. Apparently this need is strong enough to destroy the earth in greed and hatred. God made us special to Him as His unique children.
Copying something that I wrote about self criticism: Other-criticism is not always a bad thing. It can be overdone. Others should be accepted recognizing that God has given them life and that their purpose is to serve Him. He has made them adequate to accomplish His will. He has given them everything in life to enjoy.
I think that what is missing is the acceptance of other people. I am able to think of them as precious individually, because I believe that each soul that comes to God is a beautiful thing, and in this I am not a respecter of persons. But groups I have not learned to love. I am convinced that there is wickedness in the masses. I now think that this may be irrelevant. Jesus accepted the masses, but corrected individuals. I on the other hand am afraid of the masses of people and it is safer not to accept them for fear of missing what I want to do. It is almost like that 'I drew a circle' poem.
Isn't this fear where the love of money comes from, (and that love is of course the root of all evil). The need to be special and how this leads to all consuming fear vs acceptance of self and others with no fear.
Now God, what are we supposed to accept and what are we not supposed to accept.I think we are supposed to accept everything. This is the Bible’s definition of love. (1Cor13) I think what the point is is to accept the condition in which you find humanity, and to allow God to work out His purposes in His earth. Jesus never tried to change anything politically.I think that we are even to accept evil in some way and not resist, as Jesus never reviled at others and left the evil ones for God to rebuke.(It is a very complicated subject because Jesus always rebuked the wrong that the Pharisees did. )
1. Be nice to the masses who are just trying.
2. Undo the work of the oppressors.
3. Learn to accept the masses and not be afraid of them.
Instead of being consumed by fear, accept.
Also how to live as a Christian with those who are obviously partially possessed
Thursday, November 25, 2004
Hungry and Alone
We are born hungry and we are born alone, and the comforts of family, friends, food, career, riches are all only temporary distractions from our essential selves.
When these things are stripped away we become meaningless, our lives are without a point.
The struggle to fill these needs is what motivates us to live.
But our essential selves are cold, inert, and undiscovered-- unless we find the true spark
that gives life real meaning -- meaning that exists even without any of the things that can be taken away from us, that resonantes in our very core.
We are born to die
and if we continue to be distracted
we will miss the point of living.
The point of life is not to cover our weaknesses and nakedness.
It is to find the source and beginning of our naked selves.
How lovely it is when souls interact in pure concern for each other. Pure platonic altruism must be a gem in the eyes of heaven. A diamond that flashes purely in the dark brokenness of earth.
We are in essence so simple, and if we could understand our existence first then maybe we could move on to more complex things.
When these things are stripped away we become meaningless, our lives are without a point.
The struggle to fill these needs is what motivates us to live.
But our essential selves are cold, inert, and undiscovered-- unless we find the true spark
that gives life real meaning -- meaning that exists even without any of the things that can be taken away from us, that resonantes in our very core.
We are born to die
and if we continue to be distracted
we will miss the point of living.
The point of life is not to cover our weaknesses and nakedness.
It is to find the source and beginning of our naked selves.
How lovely it is when souls interact in pure concern for each other. Pure platonic altruism must be a gem in the eyes of heaven. A diamond that flashes purely in the dark brokenness of earth.
We are in essence so simple, and if we could understand our existence first then maybe we could move on to more complex things.
Wednesday, November 10, 2004
A Rearrangement of Priorities
It is the enslavement to fear, the worship and addiction to people around you, the restructuring of values, the overriding of the inclination to do good, and the eradication of the meek and lowly spirit of Christ in man that is the central and most important issue. It is irrelevant what system you come up with to accomplish this. It is only important that the focus of life has become destructive, even if this is only in little ways.
To learn a new committment to God I will have:
To believe that Jesus is willing to make earth into heaven, to imbue us and our lives with heavenly grace.
To believe that the darkness of this earth is for the glory of God to shine
To believe that my weakness is for the revelation of the Strength of Christ
To believe that we are earthen vessels so that all the power may be seen to be from God
To learn to glory in my weakness
to learn to turn away from all that I am
and embrace all that the Father has revealed to me
to learn to see the perfection of God in all that is
to learn to give up all things to Him
to learn to accept all things that He has given.
Well this is a rearrangement of priorities, that must be done
So first is God's spirit in me
His glory
His honor on earth
Next is everything else
To learn a new committment to God I will have:
To believe that Jesus is willing to make earth into heaven, to imbue us and our lives with heavenly grace.
To believe that the darkness of this earth is for the glory of God to shine
To believe that my weakness is for the revelation of the Strength of Christ
To believe that we are earthen vessels so that all the power may be seen to be from God
To learn to glory in my weakness
to learn to turn away from all that I am
and embrace all that the Father has revealed to me
to learn to see the perfection of God in all that is
to learn to give up all things to Him
to learn to accept all things that He has given.
Well this is a rearrangement of priorities, that must be done
So first is God's spirit in me
His glory
His honor on earth
Next is everything else
Thursday, November 04, 2004
Hate Hath no Harm for Love
Hate hath no harm for love, so ran the song,
And peace unweaponed
conquers every wrong!
(John Greenleaf Whitter)
Sanctuary
8:37 PM 11/3/2004
Am I becoming violent in spirit?
Have I lost the grace of patience?
Do I value viciousness?
Help me to avoid death in spirit
Now, instead of just enjoying life I measure and quantify it
Shouldnt someone pay ?
8:41 PM 11/3/2004
Let us create in here a sanctuary of sanity
Am I becoming violent in spirit?
Have I lost the grace of patience?
Do I value viciousness?
Help me to avoid death in spirit
Now, instead of just enjoying life I measure and quantify it
Shouldnt someone pay ?
8:41 PM 11/3/2004
Let us create in here a sanctuary of sanity
Wednesday, November 03, 2004
Such a bother
To honor one who God loves is to honor God.He that receiveth a prophet in the name of a
prophet shall receive a prophet’s reward; and he that receiveth a righteous
man in the name of a righteous man shall receive a righteous man’s reward.
Matt 10:41
In the end it is God who takes care of us. We think we are capable of love, but it is God who truly loves us and loves others. It is better to trust His love.
I have obviously made a mistake. I should not have listened to any suggestions, since now I am being haunted day and night by
worry and anxiety. It was completely unnecessary. It is foolish
for me to try to help, especially men, because you cannot help
anyone who does not want to be helped. But again if I had not
tried I would feel guilty because it became an obligation to God. I
am under obligation to the spirit of God to not turn away from
others if I do not want Him to turn away from me. Do you know
how many times I have been completely out of my mind and not
sure what was happening, and yet somehow God was there for
me? I pray that I will never turn someone away, or look the other
way when it is within my power to do good.
Or rather, it is better to let others who need your help come to
you. But really you CAN offer what you have available. If they
want something other than what you have, what can you do? If
they want something other than what you are able and willing to
offer, there is nothing that can be done.
Forgive me for bothering.
Tuesday, November 02, 2004
How very holy
How holy! To devote one's life to poverty. What God does to those He loves!
Why should any of us be called to poverty? Why doesnt God choose to accomplish the same thing in comfort since He is all powerful? How are we supposed to subdue ourselves without limits? There will be nothing of us left. How can God create us and then take away our selves? "When Christ calls a man he bids him come and die."
As they observe us from heaven where do the angels find the need to subdue someone beyond all reason? Perhaps we are privileged if we only understood. Also, even reason has to be subsumed under the will of God, but this is hardest of all. It seems that life should at least be reasonable.
How do I recognise it as being from God? Wouldn't this deify poverty itself? Asceticism should develop without choice as a result of following Jesus. It should be a by product of the heart's pain.
I would have to live it to know its results since Christ says the fruits are what determine value. I am impressed by St. Francis of Assisi, but I do not at all understand him.
Is it true that the world was created on October 7th? The day of atonement is around that time. Is October important in creation? Is there a blessing associated with the first month as there is one associated with the firstborn? Why does God like things that are first?
Why should any of us be called to poverty? Why doesnt God choose to accomplish the same thing in comfort since He is all powerful? How are we supposed to subdue ourselves without limits? There will be nothing of us left. How can God create us and then take away our selves? "When Christ calls a man he bids him come and die."
As they observe us from heaven where do the angels find the need to subdue someone beyond all reason? Perhaps we are privileged if we only understood. Also, even reason has to be subsumed under the will of God, but this is hardest of all. It seems that life should at least be reasonable.
How do I recognise it as being from God? Wouldn't this deify poverty itself? Asceticism should develop without choice as a result of following Jesus. It should be a by product of the heart's pain.
I would have to live it to know its results since Christ says the fruits are what determine value. I am impressed by St. Francis of Assisi, but I do not at all understand him.
Is it true that the world was created on October 7th? The day of atonement is around that time. Is October important in creation? Is there a blessing associated with the first month as there is one associated with the firstborn? Why does God like things that are first?
The recipe for evil
They miss the whole point of existence. They keep coming up with recipes for sequential twinkies, and they do not realize that life is not a succession of artificial cakes, but a simple garden of delights. We are to find and understand the perfection of what God has placed before us, not create monstrous and insipid realities out of viciousness. We wait until we are presented with reality and then find the beauty that He has necessarily place within it for us.
This is why they destroy life. They dont see that they dont need their heinous recipes, everything we need is already provided for us. They are the antimatter of existence and the black holes of the soul.
This is why they destroy life. They dont see that they dont need their heinous recipes, everything we need is already provided for us. They are the antimatter of existence and the black holes of the soul.
It is God, not good, that matters
It is a shame that Christ had no female apostles, although it must have been the convention of the times.
The danger of diverting the Christian mind from the basic truths of Christianity. Indulgences and penances are not basic doctrine, and it leads to tangential pieties and self flagellations. All of which become the focus
and distract from the source of joy. Jesus' gifts and miracles become out of focus and there is instead a focus and all of the issues that surround the core of truth, and so the church became weighted down and bloated with the beauties of the extraneous. Kind of the same problem that the Jews had at the coming of Christ.
How is it that focusing directly on or focusing slighty off from how is it that it is so easy to lose sight of Christ. How is it so easy to decide to commit to something that is part of Christ, but is not Christ Himself. Christ must be the only criteria, with the will of God. Not goodness, piety, law, reason or anything that we can understand. Anything that God says to do is good, as Samuel slew the Amalekite king, which Saul forgot to do.
The danger of diverting the Christian mind from the basic truths of Christianity. Indulgences and penances are not basic doctrine, and it leads to tangential pieties and self flagellations. All of which become the focus
and distract from the source of joy. Jesus' gifts and miracles become out of focus and there is instead a focus and all of the issues that surround the core of truth, and so the church became weighted down and bloated with the beauties of the extraneous. Kind of the same problem that the Jews had at the coming of Christ.
How is it that focusing directly on or focusing slighty off from how is it that it is so easy to lose sight of Christ. How is it so easy to decide to commit to something that is part of Christ, but is not Christ Himself. Christ must be the only criteria, with the will of God. Not goodness, piety, law, reason or anything that we can understand. Anything that God says to do is good, as Samuel slew the Amalekite king, which Saul forgot to do.
Monday, November 01, 2004
My Time is Yours
Dearest God
My relationship with You is suffering because I spend so much time thinking about all of this stuff. God almighty I pray to you because I am supposed to acknowledge You in all my ways, not acknowledge THIS every second of the day. Forgive me for yielding to the temptation to be distracted from You.
This suffering is definitely worth all effort even though the reason for it is really a sad thing and not to be laughed at, but it is so hilarious. It is worth it after all. The prize missed is etraordinarily great of course, but I am SUCH a SIMPLE person that I can make do with less than nothing. it is pleasure. pure pleasure.
As for you, it was in your mind to do me evil, but God has given a happy outcome, the salvation of numbers of people, as you see today. Genesis 50.20
My relationship with You is suffering because I spend so much time thinking about all of this stuff. God almighty I pray to you because I am supposed to acknowledge You in all my ways, not acknowledge THIS every second of the day. Forgive me for yielding to the temptation to be distracted from You.
This suffering is definitely worth all effort even though the reason for it is really a sad thing and not to be laughed at, but it is so hilarious. It is worth it after all. The prize missed is etraordinarily great of course, but I am SUCH a SIMPLE person that I can make do with less than nothing. it is pleasure. pure pleasure.
As for you, it was in your mind to do me evil, but God has given a happy outcome, the salvation of numbers of people, as you see today. Genesis 50.20
We are not our own
It is better to be yielding, and protective of all things that are one's own, not someone who looks for the soft parts of others and hacks at them with shards of glass. it would be nice to know that in desperation one would never destroy you .
it is necessary for a husband to be someone that you can submit to and support. so it is important to help and not attack in desperate neediness, to be able to be stable under pressure.
it is necessary for a husband to be someone that you can submit to and support. so it is important to help and not attack in desperate neediness, to be able to be stable under pressure.
You are my motivation
God if I base anything on my feelings, I would say no. I am a little sick exhausted and tired of the whole thing. I dont even know if my original motivation was from You. But Murdock says that if something is offered to please You You will reward. So it rests as it was, and I wait for You to reveal YOUR will, not the will or interest of the crowd. Not even the will or interest of any human being involved, but what You alone want. Please let me know if this is something that You want me to do blessed Lord. I am personally not so concerned any more, but I will leave it in God's hands. After all I am not basing my actions only on my feelings. I think some people do.
I need a sign
Jesus, thank you for overcoming my body and guiding me with Your spirit. I am honored
that You still recognize me, because I am a sinner and not worthy of Your grace. But I am
willing and zealous for Your kingdom.
To give life to the world is the greatest of miracles. To offer freedom to the soul and mind
and to uplift is the sign from God.
that You still recognize me, because I am a sinner and not worthy of Your grace. But I am
willing and zealous for Your kingdom.
To give life to the world is the greatest of miracles. To offer freedom to the soul and mind
and to uplift is the sign from God.
Sunday, October 31, 2004
from Rape of the Lock - Pope
What dire Offence from am'rous Causes springs
What mighty Contests rise from trivial Things
What mighty Contests rise from trivial Things
Friday, October 29, 2004
But we do not want to die
When Christ calls a man, He bids him come and die.
It may be a death like that of the first disciples
Who had to leave home and work to follow Him,
Or it may be a death like Luther’s,
Who had to leave the monastery and go out into the world.
But it is the same death every time—death in Jesus Christ,
The death of the old man at His call.
That is why the rich young man was so loath to follow Jesus,
For the cost of following was the death of his will.
In fact every command of Jesus is a call to die,
With all our affections and lusts.
But we do not want to die,
And therefore Jesus Christ and His call are necessarily our death and our life.
…..Dietrich Bonhoeffer, The Cost of Discipleship
It may be a death like that of the first disciples
Who had to leave home and work to follow Him,
Or it may be a death like Luther’s,
Who had to leave the monastery and go out into the world.
But it is the same death every time—death in Jesus Christ,
The death of the old man at His call.
That is why the rich young man was so loath to follow Jesus,
For the cost of following was the death of his will.
In fact every command of Jesus is a call to die,
With all our affections and lusts.
But we do not want to die,
And therefore Jesus Christ and His call are necessarily our death and our life.
…..Dietrich Bonhoeffer, The Cost of Discipleship
Cursed be the man that trusteth in man
Can you imagine Elijah or any of the prophets belonging to a system like this? That is why a Christian cannot participate because it interferes with your truth-telling.
No wonder they are such emotional wrecks -- they rely on others for their support.
Thus saith the LORD; Cursed be the man that trusteth in man, and maketh flesh his arm, and whose heart departeth from the LORD.For he shall be like the heath in the desert, and shall not see when good cometh; but shall inhabit the parched places in the wilderness, in a salt land and not inhabited.
Blessed is the man that trusteth in the LORD, and whose hope the LORD is.
For he shall be as a tree planted by the waters, and that spreadeth out her roots by the river, and shall not see when heat cometh, but her leaf shall be green; and shall not be careful in the year of drought, neither shall cease from yielding fruit.
Jeremiah 17.5-9
No wonder they are such emotional wrecks -- they rely on others for their support.
Thus saith the LORD; Cursed be the man that trusteth in man, and maketh flesh his arm, and whose heart departeth from the LORD.For he shall be like the heath in the desert, and shall not see when good cometh; but shall inhabit the parched places in the wilderness, in a salt land and not inhabited.
Blessed is the man that trusteth in the LORD, and whose hope the LORD is.
For he shall be as a tree planted by the waters, and that spreadeth out her roots by the river, and shall not see when heat cometh, but her leaf shall be green; and shall not be careful in the year of drought, neither shall cease from yielding fruit.
Jeremiah 17.5-9
Thursday, October 28, 2004
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!
I am so bored with all of this. There is so much yelling about nothing. I have no understanding of the reason for the intensity of interest. I suppose it is just their culture. It is like going to a Pacific Island and having groups of people there yell back and forth about yams, day in and day out. yams yams yams yams yams yams .....EEEEEK!!
It is from the love I think. They are obsessed with each other, and what they can pretend to each other. I think I wrote a little about that in my book.
It is a way of life that has no meaning for me.
It is from the love I think. They are obsessed with each other, and what they can pretend to each other. I think I wrote a little about that in my book.
It is a way of life that has no meaning for me.
A soul's adjustment
I suppose that I like to play music because I like to hear a story outside of my own.
I like to see how others managed to embrace life despite their sorrows, see how far the human spirit is able to stretch.
I want to hear nuances of peaceful pleasantries, or the warmth of a heart's contentment.
How hard it is to surround our every waking moment with happiness. How we search for the answers to this need.
I suppose one can adjust the soul or adjust the externals. But what if in changing the world around you, you destroy the only thing that makes you happy?
Jesus, You who allow them to catalyze my destruction mercifully show me how to grow the righteous armor I will need to fight your battles.
Please provide for me the focus and understanding I need to forget everything but You and to subject all things to Thy will.
I like to see how others managed to embrace life despite their sorrows, see how far the human spirit is able to stretch.
I want to hear nuances of peaceful pleasantries, or the warmth of a heart's contentment.
How hard it is to surround our every waking moment with happiness. How we search for the answers to this need.
I suppose one can adjust the soul or adjust the externals. But what if in changing the world around you, you destroy the only thing that makes you happy?
Jesus, You who allow them to catalyze my destruction mercifully show me how to grow the righteous armor I will need to fight your battles.
Please provide for me the focus and understanding I need to forget everything but You and to subject all things to Thy will.
Wednesday, October 27, 2004
Fair as the moon
I am a smoldering wick before the Lord, yet because of the love of Christ, even if deluges of the waters of death were poured over my heart it would not put out the fire-- because the Lord is my heart's fire. It is the reverse of Elijah's miracle where the fire licked up the water all around.
What a joy it is to see the messages the angels have left across the
centuries for our souls. And for me.
The canticles are about the love relationship between Jesus and our
soul. It teaches that Jesus takes pleasure in the offerings of our heart.
One of my favorite texts:
Who is she that looketh forth as the morning,
fair as the moon,
clear as the sun,
and terrible as an army with banners?
Song 6.10
This is when I appear in God's full glory.
What a joy it is to see the messages the angels have left across the
centuries for our souls. And for me.
The canticles are about the love relationship between Jesus and our
soul. It teaches that Jesus takes pleasure in the offerings of our heart.
One of my favorite texts:
Who is she that looketh forth as the morning,
fair as the moon,
clear as the sun,
and terrible as an army with banners?
Song 6.10
This is when I appear in God's full glory.
Sexual Sanctification
It sounds strange, but I think we must share our sexual feelings with Jesus. How else can He sanctify them? How else will we let Him have control over them. We make a silly mistake to hide our sexual feelings from God. Who do we think gave them to us? Who do we think wants us to enjoy them?
When we are joined sexually to another person, we need God to be there. So God needs to be in every sexual feeling that we have. Perhaps Jesus transmits our energy to the other person, but sanctifies it. Perhaps as our souls are shared He sheilds them from attack from all unholiness.
He must be involved in everything. Maybe Jesus needs to be the object of my sexual desire, my spiritual sexual desire. Maybe His Godly purity will sanctify this for both men and women. Do not separate this part of your heart from Him, or else the devil will use it as a foothold.
This is what they mean when they say that the emptiness that we need to fill with God we try to fill with mankind. I thought sex was only for us, for those we can share with physically. But it is not. It is first for Him. He gave us this spirit to share it with Him. Then when He is ready He will direct it towards the one that He wants us to be with. And so what GOD THEN JOINS TOGETHER no man shall put asunder. And we will be one flesh.
Sexual energy must be sanctified.
Strange but true, but when you think of sex, think of Jesus. He must have the Kings right of first sex (in a good way. .)
When we are joined sexually to another person, we need God to be there. So God needs to be in every sexual feeling that we have. Perhaps Jesus transmits our energy to the other person, but sanctifies it. Perhaps as our souls are shared He sheilds them from attack from all unholiness.
He must be involved in everything. Maybe Jesus needs to be the object of my sexual desire, my spiritual sexual desire. Maybe His Godly purity will sanctify this for both men and women. Do not separate this part of your heart from Him, or else the devil will use it as a foothold.
This is what they mean when they say that the emptiness that we need to fill with God we try to fill with mankind. I thought sex was only for us, for those we can share with physically. But it is not. It is first for Him. He gave us this spirit to share it with Him. Then when He is ready He will direct it towards the one that He wants us to be with. And so what GOD THEN JOINS TOGETHER no man shall put asunder. And we will be one flesh.
Sexual energy must be sanctified.
Strange but true, but when you think of sex, think of Jesus. He must have the Kings right of first sex (in a good way. .)
Monday, October 25, 2004
The source of strength
Because God graced our founding fathers with the powers of wisdom and foresight, they were able to instill in our country's constitution the balances needed to make us so invincible. Anyone who is willing to carelessly allow the country to destroy its foundation for the sake of greed is willing to let our country descend into a cartel state like Nicaragua's or Colombia's. It will be a waste of an era. They will create a place that no one will be able to stand living in, even with all of the accumulated gains that they acquired by oppression.
The weight of gold, the value of glitter
It is posterity that is worth the trouble, the accumulated weight of all eyes, not just the ones that surround you now, ortear you down or misunderstand. It is the weight of time that is required to test your true worth and it is only the things that last that matter. This is why destructive superficialities must be forgone in order to bring to light the soul's most excellent strengths. And so its power can shape hearts for ages to come. This is not only despite but because of our daily insignificant weaknesses and embarrassments.
Not marble nor the guilded monuments
Not marble nor the guilded monuments
William Shakespeare
Not marble nor the gilded monuments
Of princes shall outlive this powerful rhyme;
But you shall shine more bright in these contents
Than unswept stone, besmear'd with sluttish time.
When wasteful war shall statues overturn,
And broils root out the work of masonry,
Nor Mars his sword nor war's quick fire shall burn
The living record of your memory.
'Gainst death and all-oblivious enmity
Shall you pace forth; your praise shall still find room,
Even in the eyes of all posterity
That wear this world out to the ending doom.
So, till the judgment that yourself arise,
You live in this, and dwell in lovers' eyes.
William Shakespeare
Not marble nor the gilded monuments
Of princes shall outlive this powerful rhyme;
But you shall shine more bright in these contents
Than unswept stone, besmear'd with sluttish time.
When wasteful war shall statues overturn,
And broils root out the work of masonry,
Nor Mars his sword nor war's quick fire shall burn
The living record of your memory.
'Gainst death and all-oblivious enmity
Shall you pace forth; your praise shall still find room,
Even in the eyes of all posterity
That wear this world out to the ending doom.
So, till the judgment that yourself arise,
You live in this, and dwell in lovers' eyes.
Tuesday, October 19, 2004
Love exists in the mind
Link to my IMDB comment about the movie Silent Running
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0067756/usercomments-85
After watching the movie, I realized that an object of love has no specific criteria. You can have and love a pet rock because all that is required is that you create in your mind what is necessary to love it. A place for the heart to rest.
God does give us guidelines about how to find fulfillment, usually related to children, and the heart can find non-sexual fulfillment in many ways.
The burden of society requires parameters be placed on our desires. The burden of society is to be borne.
Love exists in the mind.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0067756/usercomments-85
After watching the movie, I realized that an object of love has no specific criteria. You can have and love a pet rock because all that is required is that you create in your mind what is necessary to love it. A place for the heart to rest.
God does give us guidelines about how to find fulfillment, usually related to children, and the heart can find non-sexual fulfillment in many ways.
The burden of society requires parameters be placed on our desires. The burden of society is to be borne.
Love exists in the mind.
Saturday, October 16, 2004
A miracle marriage
What is my purpose? It is hard for me to keep all of the parameters in my mind.
I need a reclusive chaplaincy.
I dont think I can give them what they want because Jesus doesn't give me any of what they ask for.
A man can only receive what has been given him from heaven
Also there is the issue of fellowship.
Christ offered the water of life. I am able to speak about His teachings.
Maybe brighten something.
The conditions of Christian openness do not apply in all circumstances. A christian can go into a strip club only when duty calls. It is just not the place to hang out. If a christian hangs out there then they are liable to lose their protective covering from God, and they will not be able to help anyone, including themselves. For the sake of appearances they should not even be outside the club.
They could maybe pass out tracks near the club.
So essentially. A christian cannot be where he should not be, or where the spirit of God warns him not to go.
If somehow the entire society should be devoid of the spirit, where is a christian to go then?
Well first, why is that the case, is it because of the world or because the Christian's heart is not right?
If it is because of the christian then they need to take a retreat and search their hearts and find out what it is that God needs them to do. Then they need to do it.
Their spiritual trouble might indicate a weakness on their part.
I think I have a weakness from premarital desires and if I am in a holy marriage then God can bless my desires. And close the portal to evil.
Because God would be able to approach something in my life that has been corrupted. By the congress with my ex I through him opened myself to unholiness. Because the man is the head of the woman and he is the priest and they share spirit. who knows what he had shared his spirit with last. who can imagine what he had opened himself up to, what he had invited, and what was associated with him.
I cannot submit to wifely duty to a man who is not covered by the grace of God because then I expose myself as well.
I should not even date anyone like this
I can barely be friends
I can offer chaplaincy
I am alone in the world and I will never get married, except by a miracle from God. Christ will draw all who are his to him.
so again my life is limited to the role of nun. I only mean that parameter-wise because I know that this will open up possibilities and be a wealth of opportunities
I need to read more on the life of nuns
I cannot hang out or go to parties anymore
I can barely do the much more mundane things
I cannot have others expect me to be normal, since I am restricted by my committment to God.
I am a vessel of God
Revirginated.
I need a reclusive chaplaincy.
I dont think I can give them what they want because Jesus doesn't give me any of what they ask for.
A man can only receive what has been given him from heaven
Also there is the issue of fellowship.
Christ offered the water of life. I am able to speak about His teachings.
Maybe brighten something.
The conditions of Christian openness do not apply in all circumstances. A christian can go into a strip club only when duty calls. It is just not the place to hang out. If a christian hangs out there then they are liable to lose their protective covering from God, and they will not be able to help anyone, including themselves. For the sake of appearances they should not even be outside the club.
They could maybe pass out tracks near the club.
So essentially. A christian cannot be where he should not be, or where the spirit of God warns him not to go.
If somehow the entire society should be devoid of the spirit, where is a christian to go then?
Well first, why is that the case, is it because of the world or because the Christian's heart is not right?
If it is because of the christian then they need to take a retreat and search their hearts and find out what it is that God needs them to do. Then they need to do it.
Their spiritual trouble might indicate a weakness on their part.
I think I have a weakness from premarital desires and if I am in a holy marriage then God can bless my desires. And close the portal to evil.
Because God would be able to approach something in my life that has been corrupted. By the congress with my ex I through him opened myself to unholiness. Because the man is the head of the woman and he is the priest and they share spirit. who knows what he had shared his spirit with last. who can imagine what he had opened himself up to, what he had invited, and what was associated with him.
I cannot submit to wifely duty to a man who is not covered by the grace of God because then I expose myself as well.
I should not even date anyone like this
I can barely be friends
I can offer chaplaincy
I am alone in the world and I will never get married, except by a miracle from God. Christ will draw all who are his to him.
so again my life is limited to the role of nun. I only mean that parameter-wise because I know that this will open up possibilities and be a wealth of opportunities
I need to read more on the life of nuns
I cannot hang out or go to parties anymore
I can barely do the much more mundane things
I cannot have others expect me to be normal, since I am restricted by my committment to God.
I am a vessel of God
Revirginated.
Emotional Tyranny
And Asa cried unto the LORD his God, and said, LORD, it is nothing with thee to help, whether with many, or with them that have no power: help us, O LORD our God; for we rest on thee, and in thy name we go against this multitude. O LORD, thou art our God; let not man prevail against thee.
Ye shall not need to fight in this battle: set yourselves, stand ye still, and see the salvation of the LORD with you, O Judah and Jerusalem: fear not, nor be dismayed; to morrow go out against them: for the LORD will be with you.
Their chosen solutions are destructive.
It is not possible to help or coerce with emotional strength. God works through sense reason, words and thinking, not through emotions.
This whole thing seems to be a religion of emotions where they are allowed to take over
Under demons emotions destroy, but under Jesus you learn how to keep them at a level that can be lived with.
Being emotionless is not the solution. Especially since that leads to brokenness.
The solution is in everything Christ says and everything He demands.
They have tried to handle something in their own wisdom and have created an enourmous awful structure that is making them the living dead.
God forgive me for my mistakes. I do not need to try to move mountains with emotions. This is not what emotions are for.
I will leave marrying for marriage.
It is some kind of religion of emotions. This is why they refuse to listen, they want to feel.
Emotions have to be kept in check and denied or else they take over and enslave.
I am trying to learn that just because we may not feel the Holy Spirit, it doesn't mean that we do not obey the Holy Spirit.
I want to honor you Holy Father God. I know that You are holy and honorable and sovreign. I acknowledge You and bow before You as my only God.
Teach me to worship You with every breath
A false power by which we try to control our lives. We try to control others. One way we do this is through emotions.
When something goes wrong we become angry, partially because we want to coerce or control the other person back into behaving the way that we want them to.
We try to push with our emotions. This only destroys. Emotions do not have strength. They only affect us. Others can choose to be affected.
We cannot fix or help or change anything with emotional power. It is a false power.
Power is not in us to do anything
Our powers must be laid downso that we can let His powers prevail
It is God who has made me as I am, for His purposes
It is His will to bless and uphold me
I have not lived under my own power
I am to Him a tree in His garden that He tends in His own way
I am someone He keeps His eye on to see what is becoming of me
I am under His watchcare He will make me what I need to be
It is such a blessing to be a child of God
I must follow everything that He tells me very closely. He has His graces to develop in me. I will be fed by His own hand. Every step I take will be graced by His goodness and will lead me into His mercy.
He gives me more than I knew I wanted and grants me powers like gems and glory like a crown. These things are His to give me, and He graces me as His little child. All these things are mine from His hand.
I accept and thank You Holy God for what You have given to me. I am eternally grateful. I will grow in Your care, and I will honor You with obediance and praise. I will honor You with attention, because I need to hear from You what to do, and how to handle situations. I need to listen to You always my Holy Lord God. I have nothing except for You. I wait for Your care. Now You are my portion, and therefore I will wait for You.
for we do not present our supplications before thee for our righteousnesses, but for thy great mercies.
And as they thus spake, Jesus himself stood in the midst of them, and saith unto them, Peace be unto you.
And said unto them, Thus it is written, and thus it behoved Christ to suffer, and to rise from the dead the third day:
And, behold, I send the promise of my Father upon you: but tarry ye in the city of Jerusalem, until ye be endued with power from on high.
Behold, He put no trust in His servants; and His angels He charged with folly:
Ye shall not need to fight in this battle: set yourselves, stand ye still, and see the salvation of the LORD with you, O Judah and Jerusalem: fear not, nor be dismayed; to morrow go out against them: for the LORD will be with you.
Their chosen solutions are destructive.
It is not possible to help or coerce with emotional strength. God works through sense reason, words and thinking, not through emotions.
This whole thing seems to be a religion of emotions where they are allowed to take over
Under demons emotions destroy, but under Jesus you learn how to keep them at a level that can be lived with.
Being emotionless is not the solution. Especially since that leads to brokenness.
The solution is in everything Christ says and everything He demands.
They have tried to handle something in their own wisdom and have created an enourmous awful structure that is making them the living dead.
God forgive me for my mistakes. I do not need to try to move mountains with emotions. This is not what emotions are for.
I will leave marrying for marriage.
It is some kind of religion of emotions. This is why they refuse to listen, they want to feel.
Emotions have to be kept in check and denied or else they take over and enslave.
I am trying to learn that just because we may not feel the Holy Spirit, it doesn't mean that we do not obey the Holy Spirit.
I want to honor you Holy Father God. I know that You are holy and honorable and sovreign. I acknowledge You and bow before You as my only God.
Teach me to worship You with every breath
A false power by which we try to control our lives. We try to control others. One way we do this is through emotions.
When something goes wrong we become angry, partially because we want to coerce or control the other person back into behaving the way that we want them to.
We try to push with our emotions. This only destroys. Emotions do not have strength. They only affect us. Others can choose to be affected.
We cannot fix or help or change anything with emotional power. It is a false power.
Power is not in us to do anything
Our powers must be laid downso that we can let His powers prevail
It is God who has made me as I am, for His purposes
It is His will to bless and uphold me
I have not lived under my own power
I am to Him a tree in His garden that He tends in His own way
I am someone He keeps His eye on to see what is becoming of me
I am under His watchcare He will make me what I need to be
It is such a blessing to be a child of God
I must follow everything that He tells me very closely. He has His graces to develop in me. I will be fed by His own hand. Every step I take will be graced by His goodness and will lead me into His mercy.
He gives me more than I knew I wanted and grants me powers like gems and glory like a crown. These things are His to give me, and He graces me as His little child. All these things are mine from His hand.
I accept and thank You Holy God for what You have given to me. I am eternally grateful. I will grow in Your care, and I will honor You with obediance and praise. I will honor You with attention, because I need to hear from You what to do, and how to handle situations. I need to listen to You always my Holy Lord God. I have nothing except for You. I wait for Your care. Now You are my portion, and therefore I will wait for You.
for we do not present our supplications before thee for our righteousnesses, but for thy great mercies.
And as they thus spake, Jesus himself stood in the midst of them, and saith unto them, Peace be unto you.
And said unto them, Thus it is written, and thus it behoved Christ to suffer, and to rise from the dead the third day:
And, behold, I send the promise of my Father upon you: but tarry ye in the city of Jerusalem, until ye be endued with power from on high.
Behold, He put no trust in His servants; and His angels He charged with folly:
Friday, October 15, 2004
Though He were a Son
God decided that I had to be truly converted.
That I was a half committed Christian before, not willing to let it affect my heart and life as it
should.
But now He has my attention. I have to thank Him for that.
I want to accept the full committment that God is asking of me because I see that He is fully committed to me.
Though he were a Son, yet learned he obedience by the things which he suffered. Hebrews 5.8
That I was a half committed Christian before, not willing to let it affect my heart and life as it
should.
But now He has my attention. I have to thank Him for that.
I want to accept the full committment that God is asking of me because I see that He is fully committed to me.
Though he were a Son, yet learned he obedience by the things which he suffered. Hebrews 5.8
Consequence
Evil cannot stop us, it can only divert us for a time.
I wonder if it is really a new phase, with the world passing me by and my purpose is to embody normalcy. (For posterity's sake?)
I have found that I often am driven to be the balance in relationships, and am as a consequence an extreme in order to maintain this balance.
I wonder if it is really a new phase, with the world passing me by and my purpose is to embody normalcy. (For posterity's sake?)
I have found that I often am driven to be the balance in relationships, and am as a consequence an extreme in order to maintain this balance.
The fountains of God
Proverbs 5.14
I was almost in all evil in the midst of the congregation and assembly.
Drink waters out of thine own cistern, and running waters out of thine own well.
Let thy fountains be dispersed abroad, and rivers of waters in the streets.
Let them be only thine own, and not strangers’ with thee.
Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth.
Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times;
and be thou ravished always with her love. And why wilt thou, my son, be ravished with a
strange woman, and embrace the bosom of a stranger?
For the ways of man are before the eyes of the LORD, and he pondereth all his goings.
This applies to the children of God and our commitment towards Him.
I was almost in all evil in the midst of the congregation and assembly.
Drink waters out of thine own cistern, and running waters out of thine own well.
Let thy fountains be dispersed abroad, and rivers of waters in the streets.
Let them be only thine own, and not strangers’ with thee.
Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth.
Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times;
and be thou ravished always with her love. And why wilt thou, my son, be ravished with a
strange woman, and embrace the bosom of a stranger?
For the ways of man are before the eyes of the LORD, and he pondereth all his goings.
This applies to the children of God and our commitment towards Him.
Tuesday, October 12, 2004
The Quixotic Fever
They are sons of perdition
I can only represent Christ and say that God must take care of us
They have gotten out of the boat and are drowning.
God what are we supposed to do?
They reject the only thing that can save them.
The do not see that He is the only thing.
The only One.
I have to let God care because my caring is not enough.
I feel as though there is hope, but so many are already the living dead,
Your mercy and grace all around like glowing lights in a dark forest, but not for them.
I wish that they would see God.
But their eyes and hearts and minds are dead
He made a decision to have hope and persist even if it wore him down to his bones.
The spirits that are enslaved cannot be set free
The hearts that have been broken will crumble into dust
But God is willing to deliver the ones He has chosen
This is the evidence of hope
So if they take a moment and make it into their own reality
and twist it in their minds
the only option we have is to speak the truth
There are only the ancient paths
It is almost a glorious crusade of destruction
For those who have lost hope
A Quixotic fever that allows no turning back
The ancient paths
The Ancient One
Remain
But we are like we never existed
I can only represent Christ and say that God must take care of us
They have gotten out of the boat and are drowning.
God what are we supposed to do?
They reject the only thing that can save them.
The do not see that He is the only thing.
The only One.
I have to let God care because my caring is not enough.
I feel as though there is hope, but so many are already the living dead,
Your mercy and grace all around like glowing lights in a dark forest, but not for them.
I wish that they would see God.
But their eyes and hearts and minds are dead
He made a decision to have hope and persist even if it wore him down to his bones.
The spirits that are enslaved cannot be set free
The hearts that have been broken will crumble into dust
But God is willing to deliver the ones He has chosen
This is the evidence of hope
So if they take a moment and make it into their own reality
and twist it in their minds
the only option we have is to speak the truth
There are only the ancient paths
It is almost a glorious crusade of destruction
For those who have lost hope
A Quixotic fever that allows no turning back
The ancient paths
The Ancient One
Remain
But we are like we never existed
Heroic in the dark
Maybe I should pray that they are set free from their delusion.
If someone believes and is able to do something despite their belief, it is not always the best to encourage them because it is better for them to be restored to their right mind.
If a child is afraid of the dark is it heroic when she forces herself to walk through it?
Isn't it better for her to learn to see reality
But heroic acts may help to conquer fear
God help me to have faith instead of false love.
I am afraid of the intent, but how can I see the intention? Only You have that power. God I cannot know what motivated an action, I can only accept all actions as a sign of your love for me.
It is only God who creates and helps me, all others are in the same situation.
If someone believes and is able to do something despite their belief, it is not always the best to encourage them because it is better for them to be restored to their right mind.
If a child is afraid of the dark is it heroic when she forces herself to walk through it?
Isn't it better for her to learn to see reality
But heroic acts may help to conquer fear
God help me to have faith instead of false love.
I am afraid of the intent, but how can I see the intention? Only You have that power. God I cannot know what motivated an action, I can only accept all actions as a sign of your love for me.
It is only God who creates and helps me, all others are in the same situation.
Sacrifice
Holy God
Thank you for accepting my sacrifice of willingness. Help me God. Defend me against those who are trying to harm me.
Thank you for accepting my sacrifice of willingness. Help me God. Defend me against those who are trying to harm me.
Monday, October 11, 2004
Daily Deliverance
God why have You made us so weak that we cannot even handle the simple things. Why are we rushing around like madmen trying to destroy ourselves and each other. It is useless for us to have life if we do not know how to live.
I do not have the power to change this. You have agreed to allow us choice. Please in Your power make this all as painless as possible. Please help me to learn to be patient in this and expect to see Your power and beauty despite the madness.
Precious or a pain?
God I feel so bad because I cannot share the truth. Not that no one listens. They have to find it from You. I just want others to turn away from death and get if over with. I just dont want to have to see the vicious madness at all. It is upsetting. I have no patience with watching abominableness. I just want to say Behave and end it all. Why have to wait and watch and be appalled. What else am I supposed to do. Accept it in the fulness of God's purposes?
God, nothing here works. Everything that they have is like ashes. You have been right all along. It all burns the mouth and leaves you feeling sick.
I do not have the power to change this. You have agreed to allow us choice. Please in Your power make this all as painless as possible. Please help me to learn to be patient in this and expect to see Your power and beauty despite the madness.
Precious or a pain?
God I feel so bad because I cannot share the truth. Not that no one listens. They have to find it from You. I just want others to turn away from death and get if over with. I just dont want to have to see the vicious madness at all. It is upsetting. I have no patience with watching abominableness. I just want to say Behave and end it all. Why have to wait and watch and be appalled. What else am I supposed to do. Accept it in the fulness of God's purposes?
God, nothing here works. Everything that they have is like ashes. You have been right all along. It all burns the mouth and leaves you feeling sick.
Friday, October 08, 2004
Essence of Saint
They say that suffering distills your character and purifies your essence into a more concentrated form. I am trying to avoid essence of b---- and lean toward essence of saint. Not at all because it is fun, because it is really not, but because I have decided to trust that in this processing that I am going through it is worth becoming less encumbered. That submitting to the word of God will only strengthen. I am willing to try.
The worth of mankind
7:02 PM 10/5/04 Are they not all valuable?
I wrote this because I was thinking of the beautiful things that He has given to each and every person, that He created us with humor, talent, potential. Each individual person has so much that has been given to them. But it is all going to be destroyed because of the original choice. It is a prayer to God to understand how not to love the world.
But He is the creator and can make more. He is true love, and must love them more than me. I can trust that He is giving to each person as much as He can in their lives, even if they reject Him. He is honoring His creation.
If we do not choose to preserve our spirits, there is nothing that He can do. Our flesh is grass and will be consumed. This world is under a rescue mission and we are free to live or die.
So then, all of those things of beauty are of little worth in the end. They are only accessories. It is our choice to depend on God which is everything in this life. There is no other way out.
I wrote this because I was thinking of the beautiful things that He has given to each and every person, that He created us with humor, talent, potential. Each individual person has so much that has been given to them. But it is all going to be destroyed because of the original choice. It is a prayer to God to understand how not to love the world.
But He is the creator and can make more. He is true love, and must love them more than me. I can trust that He is giving to each person as much as He can in their lives, even if they reject Him. He is honoring His creation.
If we do not choose to preserve our spirits, there is nothing that He can do. Our flesh is grass and will be consumed. This world is under a rescue mission and we are free to live or die.
So then, all of those things of beauty are of little worth in the end. They are only accessories. It is our choice to depend on God which is everything in this life. There is no other way out.
The imminence of sorrow
So far I have failed to recognize the imminence of sorrow. I am surrounded by the broken remains of society, and it is not possible for me to change them. I have to let God do what He will, and He has given them freedom of choice. I am so sad for the things they choose. God almighty I leave my life in Your hands. I trust You will all the minute details. It is very hard not to be able to see the future. Do You want me to stop looking at all? Don't You give me the responsibility of planning for things so far as I am able. Is that what it is to plan what I can and ignore what I cannot change. It would be easier just not to think at all of the future, or to think of everything. This balance is difficult to maintain.
It is not so much whether I do or do not understand the way the world works. It is only essential that I understand the way God wants me to work. I believe that He wants me to remember that everything is from Him, that He is the only real source of strength. In other words, truly be completely and only dependent on Him. This is so hard to learn. It is only God who exists.
It is not so much whether I do or do not understand the way the world works. It is only essential that I understand the way God wants me to work. I believe that He wants me to remember that everything is from Him, that He is the only real source of strength. In other words, truly be completely and only dependent on Him. This is so hard to learn. It is only God who exists.
No wonder?
And it is no wonder; for even Satan himself is able to take the form of an angel of light. 2. Corinthians 11, 14
Thursday, October 07, 2004
The essence of eel
God you have taken great pains to prove to me that all flesh is grass, that everything is a waste of time and that people embody the essence of eel.
Yet the only words you have left for me are to be normal, work to save souls, live a normal life exhibit the fruits of the spirit.
Who am I doing this for?
I know that all things must be done for the Lord.
But if I am horrified by their presences and they have already heard about you, then what is left to say?
What is left to say?
I could pray for them.
Perhapst hat is all I am emotionally ready to do
until I grow in Christ.
Because if if take Your name I cannot take it in vain.
But once they have rejected You , have you not said to shake the dust off your feet?
It is a complex place to live int.
You do not let me out to be with normal people, yet at the same time I am not told what to do here.
Let us pretend that they are in the heavenlies which is why they don't condescend to speak to normal people.
Then what the ____ are they aharrassing me for? If they don't want to be involved, they should mind their own business. Who asked to be harrassed?
They all want to be involved, but not enough and definitely not enough for me. They just want to entertain themselves with rumors and evil.
Yet the only words you have left for me are to be normal, work to save souls, live a normal life exhibit the fruits of the spirit.
Who am I doing this for?
I know that all things must be done for the Lord.
But if I am horrified by their presences and they have already heard about you, then what is left to say?
What is left to say?
I could pray for them.
Perhapst hat is all I am emotionally ready to do
until I grow in Christ.
Because if if take Your name I cannot take it in vain.
But once they have rejected You , have you not said to shake the dust off your feet?
It is a complex place to live int.
You do not let me out to be with normal people, yet at the same time I am not told what to do here.
Let us pretend that they are in the heavenlies which is why they don't condescend to speak to normal people.
Then what the ____ are they aharrassing me for? If they don't want to be involved, they should mind their own business. Who asked to be harrassed?
They all want to be involved, but not enough and definitely not enough for me. They just want to entertain themselves with rumors and evil.
Christ is Conflict
What is the answer to these dilemmas?
The inevitable results of Christ's coming is conflict NIV pg 1457
It is part of my nature to feel responsible for things that I shouldn't.
I thought I could help them. Living in a mystikal world is not for me. I dont' belong in it. It isn ot my place to say what someone does or doesn't know. It only messes up my reality when I pretend I know what I really dont know.
I am in the Lord's line
but it also means I am alone.
I can only help with the ideas God gives me and I can only be helped with the ideas God gives them.
Doesn't working together mean being dictated by XXX?
Doesn't it take away from your freedom to obey the Lord?
In God's world am I not anonymous? In whose world am I not?
To Jesus nothing was hidden
For God nothing is hidden
A. Can two walk together unless they be agree?
B. Fellowship. Isn't working together fellowshipping in some way?
acknowledgement (no) vs. participation (no)
God has to take care of the things I don't know
Worrying about devilish attacks have to defend against devil in general. Shoul I leave to take away persecution? Do I bring good or bad with me? I don't think Jesus would. What did they do before I was born?
I don't think that it is right for me to worry. Because the devil would have contorl over everything then.
Enslaved to Satan.
I think that is bad enough. Does he punish them for doing good.
Actually, isnt it up to God?
Apparently so, but so have I been. It would make it a common enemy.
I think I must hate what Satan does but that is not a reason to give up doing good. or to
I should encourage others to do good. I should not lie.
Enslavement of the mind.
If someone is willing to help, it is God who makes them so. It is God who will reward them.
If I were being chased by Nazis I would ask for help because of the need. Not to endanger. The danger is from Nazi's not me. It is not right to huddle in fear and do nothing to save yourself.
The inevitable results of Christ's coming is conflict NIV pg 1457
It is part of my nature to feel responsible for things that I shouldn't.
I thought I could help them. Living in a mystikal world is not for me. I dont' belong in it. It isn ot my place to say what someone does or doesn't know. It only messes up my reality when I pretend I know what I really dont know.
I am in the Lord's line
but it also means I am alone.
I can only help with the ideas God gives me and I can only be helped with the ideas God gives them.
Doesn't working together mean being dictated by XXX?
Doesn't it take away from your freedom to obey the Lord?
In God's world am I not anonymous? In whose world am I not?
To Jesus nothing was hidden
For God nothing is hidden
A. Can two walk together unless they be agree?
B. Fellowship. Isn't working together fellowshipping in some way?
acknowledgement (no) vs. participation (no)
God has to take care of the things I don't know
Worrying about devilish attacks have to defend against devil in general. Shoul I leave to take away persecution? Do I bring good or bad with me? I don't think Jesus would. What did they do before I was born?
I don't think that it is right for me to worry. Because the devil would have contorl over everything then.
Enslaved to Satan.
I think that is bad enough. Does he punish them for doing good.
Actually, isnt it up to God?
Apparently so, but so have I been. It would make it a common enemy.
I think I must hate what Satan does but that is not a reason to give up doing good. or to
I should encourage others to do good. I should not lie.
Enslavement of the mind.
If someone is willing to help, it is God who makes them so. It is God who will reward them.
If I were being chased by Nazis I would ask for help because of the need. Not to endanger. The danger is from Nazi's not me. It is not right to huddle in fear and do nothing to save yourself.
We are NOT capable
Or is there nothing to believe in anymore? I used to believe in so many things. But people have been reduced to their essential parts and there is very little to show for it. Just a mountain of superficial nonsense and some viciousness underneath.
Dear God, now I see that we are not capable of anything.
Dear God, now I see that we are not capable of anything.
Only You who can lay suffering on your children
God, I thank you that you are willing to cry for our sorrows and love us through our our weaknesses. Holy Father God, I am willing to accept from You suffering and sorrow. I believe that it is only You who can lay suffering on your children.
Are not sparrows two a farthing? and not one of them comes to an end without your Father:But the hairs of your head are all numbered. Then have no fear; you are of more value than a flock of sparrows. Matthew 10.29-31
God, sometimes it is hard to remember that you really do care for us, and you truly want good things for us, especially when we go through so much darkness. It is hard to remember that you want more than the darkness. I pray Holy Father God that you will in your mercy remind us of every mercy in Your heart. Remind us that you are loving and full of kindness. Help us to trust in You and to see You in truth. Thank you merciful God for the wonderful things that you are and that you give to us. Thank you merciful God for being a merciful God.
God, you make us exist for more than death and suffering. Please fulfill in my life the promises of Your word.
Are not sparrows two a farthing? and not one of them comes to an end without your Father:But the hairs of your head are all numbered. Then have no fear; you are of more value than a flock of sparrows. Matthew 10.29-31
God, sometimes it is hard to remember that you really do care for us, and you truly want good things for us, especially when we go through so much darkness. It is hard to remember that you want more than the darkness. I pray Holy Father God that you will in your mercy remind us of every mercy in Your heart. Remind us that you are loving and full of kindness. Help us to trust in You and to see You in truth. Thank you merciful God for the wonderful things that you are and that you give to us. Thank you merciful God for being a merciful God.
God, you make us exist for more than death and suffering. Please fulfill in my life the promises of Your word.
Wednesday, October 06, 2004
The world will go on without me
It is not right to live with personal responsiblilty for thw world and all of its mishaps. This is the issue: to agree to live a lie. To agree to harm oneself for the sake of imaginary mishaps.
Even the mechanisme is random, so the action is random, regardless of the intent.
As he said. A conspiracy of actions not actors.
We have to do what we want.
I am sorry that the memory of reality still haunts me.
Even the mechanisme is random, so the action is random, regardless of the intent.
As he said. A conspiracy of actions not actors.
We have to do what we want.
I am sorry that the memory of reality still haunts me.
Flesh is a waste of time
God Almighty, thank you for my website. please bless it so that it will bless others. Please guide me this day to do your will and obey You in all things. Forgive me for my weaknesses.
Flesh is a waste of time. There is only flesh without God.
Flesh is a waste of time. There is only flesh without God.
Denominations and Praise
Isn't it possible that God has allowed denominationalism in order to preserve the various aspects of His grace more fully? So that as a body, we all make up Christ, from Catholic to Protestant, each a humble follower of the light our only Lord Jesus Christ has given to us. I am sure we each do err, shouldn't we bear with faults, and meekly point to greater truth and the light we have received? Are we not all brethren?
I read "Prison to Praise" by Merlin Carothers and he talked about the importance of thanking God in everything. I think it is about submitting everything to Him.
I read "Prison to Praise" by Merlin Carothers and he talked about the importance of thanking God in everything. I think it is about submitting everything to Him.
Despite appearances-- we are not able to be good or evil
I have been up half the night. I am exhausted. Am I even doing what I need to do?
Daily we need deliverance from the hands of satan and his workers. How is it that we can forget such a thing? How is it that we can be unaware of our constant danger. It is because (for me at least) of my erroneous beliefs. I actually believe that people are capable of of being good. believed. I dont believe that any more. I dont necessarily believe that people are capable of being evil either. I think we are motivated by spirits and we choose which one to listen to. This is not of course categorical, we are not completely empty. But from what I have seen in the world, the way the hearts of man do not give the even the desire to choose anything else but what they do choose -- it seems to me that we are weaker than we appear.
The Christian must learn to get self out of the way so that God will be able to work through her.
Daily we need deliverance from the hands of satan and his workers. How is it that we can forget such a thing? How is it that we can be unaware of our constant danger. It is because (for me at least) of my erroneous beliefs. I actually believe that people are capable of of being good. believed. I dont believe that any more. I dont necessarily believe that people are capable of being evil either. I think we are motivated by spirits and we choose which one to listen to. This is not of course categorical, we are not completely empty. But from what I have seen in the world, the way the hearts of man do not give the even the desire to choose anything else but what they do choose -- it seems to me that we are weaker than we appear.
The Christian must learn to get self out of the way so that God will be able to work through her.
I will need daily deliverance
God almighty thank you for keeping me from that awful bug crawling inside the net.
Blessed Lord God forgive me for forgetting the things that I need to do.
Please teach me my dependence on You.
God thank you for a few days of holiday and forgetting where I was.
I am in a spiritual battle now, and I need to behave accordingly.
God I have tried to return to where I was, but I do not believe in any of this anymore. I dont believe that man is capable of anything at all. I belive that everything he does is the result of his listening to either Your suggestions or the devils'.
Human beings under this war are useless. I wish Dear God that you would help them to realize this.
We are powerless. I am so sorry for all the things that I believed in the past. I am so sorry that I believed that people had the ability to do more than to choose.
I am so glad that you have not wanted us to look to man. Now everyone is becoming an active agent of the devil. How much worse can the world get? It is already full of so much sorrow and inequity. Now everyone has been conscripted to active action in evil, and not just passive. Heavenly Father God, please have mercy on me and teach me to forget the world and turn away from all of this darkness.
Help me to point people to You, Holy Savior.
Help me to save myself from this untoward generation. I ask YOu to use me to save others as well.
I am in the habit of looking for somtheing that is well appointed and calling it good, God teach me to submit all tfo this things in my heart to You so that you can take away from me my pain and suffering.
Dear God I give up the arrogance of believing that I can make even the smallest of choices without Your help. Please help me to submit everything to you and be willing to hear Your voice in all things. I admit that I am unable to do anything if You do not do it for me.
Blessed Lord God forgive me for forgetting the things that I need to do.
Please teach me my dependence on You.
God thank you for a few days of holiday and forgetting where I was.
I am in a spiritual battle now, and I need to behave accordingly.
God I have tried to return to where I was, but I do not believe in any of this anymore. I dont believe that man is capable of anything at all. I belive that everything he does is the result of his listening to either Your suggestions or the devils'.
Human beings under this war are useless. I wish Dear God that you would help them to realize this.
We are powerless. I am so sorry for all the things that I believed in the past. I am so sorry that I believed that people had the ability to do more than to choose.
I am so glad that you have not wanted us to look to man. Now everyone is becoming an active agent of the devil. How much worse can the world get? It is already full of so much sorrow and inequity. Now everyone has been conscripted to active action in evil, and not just passive. Heavenly Father God, please have mercy on me and teach me to forget the world and turn away from all of this darkness.
Help me to point people to You, Holy Savior.
Help me to save myself from this untoward generation. I ask YOu to use me to save others as well.
I am in the habit of looking for somtheing that is well appointed and calling it good, God teach me to submit all tfo this things in my heart to You so that you can take away from me my pain and suffering.
Dear God I give up the arrogance of believing that I can make even the smallest of choices without Your help. Please help me to submit everything to you and be willing to hear Your voice in all things. I admit that I am unable to do anything if You do not do it for me.
Tuesday, October 05, 2004
Monday, October 04, 2004
The priests of God
As PRIESTS before You it is our job to reach into the heavenlies and bring down Your power to shake the earth.
Goodness and mercy will follow me
I have to hope and believe that goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life.
My daily bread, His care of creation
My daily bread, His care of creation
Saturday, October 02, 2004
Make war on the Evil One
But he gives more grace. So that the Writings say, God is against the men of pride, but he gives grace to those who make themselves low before him. For this cause be ruled by God; but make war on the Evil One and he will be put to flight before you. James 4.6-7 BEA
Elimination of private property
elimination of private property
A system in which goods are owned in common and are available to all as needed
I wonder if a network of Christian communists regardless of denomination could strengthen each other in holiness and purity
The 19th century Christians were more focused on true Christianity and less distracted and again, ignoring denominations, were true representations of the spirit of Christ.
Separation from the world, not just in avoidance, but when necessary to preserve the Holy Spirit of God.
God could You please help Your Spirit in Your people? How sad that more do not value You or want to listen to You.
How nice that You value us, and will always make a way for us to remain in You.
Like having a sanctuary in a storm. Calling others to SEE its safety
The revival of holiness and the latter rain.
the latter rain
Blessed Jesus strengthen Your people. How glad I am that You will take care of Your church. And that You are the source for all of our love, so that I do not have to worry about the love in others, nor about doing anything for it, but that as in You it is a free gift of God. This is the true Christian spirit. Not maintaining rights but upholding love.
Teach which rights to ignore and which ones to defend.
A system in which goods are owned in common and are available to all as needed
I wonder if a network of Christian communists regardless of denomination could strengthen each other in holiness and purity
The 19th century Christians were more focused on true Christianity and less distracted and again, ignoring denominations, were true representations of the spirit of Christ.
Separation from the world, not just in avoidance, but when necessary to preserve the Holy Spirit of God.
God could You please help Your Spirit in Your people? How sad that more do not value You or want to listen to You.
How nice that You value us, and will always make a way for us to remain in You.
Like having a sanctuary in a storm. Calling others to SEE its safety
The revival of holiness and the latter rain.
the latter rain
Blessed Jesus strengthen Your people. How glad I am that You will take care of Your church. And that You are the source for all of our love, so that I do not have to worry about the love in others, nor about doing anything for it, but that as in You it is a free gift of God. This is the true Christian spirit. Not maintaining rights but upholding love.
Teach which rights to ignore and which ones to defend.
Friday, October 01, 2004
They needed Him to speak to them directly
I forgot that back then they had no Bible, so to know God's will they needed Him to speak to them directly. We have the Bible to guide us in most things.
As for you, it was in your mind to do me evil
As for you, it was in your mind to do me evil, but God has given a happy outcome, the salvation of numbers of people, as you see today. Genesis 50.20 BE------
I think I should rest in creation and remember that God loves and takes care of me.
I think I should rest in creation and remember that God loves and takes care of me.
Thursday, September 30, 2004
I am ready to give up all things
But those things which were profit to me, I gave up for Christ. Yes truly, and I am ready to give up all things for the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord, which is more than all: for whom I have undergone the loss of all things, and to me they are less than nothing, so that I may have Christ as my reward, Philippians 3.7-8 BE
----God, my parents raised me as well as they could, hiding me from the truth. Now the truth is being revealed. What do you think that I should do?
----God, my parents raised me as well as they could, hiding me from the truth. Now the truth is being revealed. What do you think that I should do?
There the heart is free
Now the Lord is the Spirit: and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there the heart is free. 2 Corinthians 3.17-18 BE
That is what it seems to be-- that the spirit of the Lord has been removed from the earth and that nowhere is free.
The Lord gives each man the choice of who he will serve.
When a man's ways are pleasing to the Lord, he makes even his enemies live at peace with him. Proverbs 16.7 NIV
That is what it seems to be-- that the spirit of the Lord has been removed from the earth and that nowhere is free.
The Lord gives each man the choice of who he will serve.
When a man's ways are pleasing to the Lord, he makes even his enemies live at peace with him. Proverbs 16.7 NIV
It is enough to think
I think that it is enough to think, as I am sure that that is where I my sin originated in the past.
The crowd has its own rewards
The crowd has its own rewards.
Are not sparrows two a farthing? and not one of them comes to an end without your Father:But the hairs of your head are all numbered. Then have no fear; you are of more value than a flock of sparrows. Matthew 10.29-31
--------
He is able to keep me from falling
It is He who gives me my heart
IF HE allows it to be taken away, how will I fight against Him?It must be enough
I have asked Him to show me His will and He knows that I am willing to do it
I do not know what else to do
-------------Dear God it is not that I do not listen to Your voice, but I need to hear it. Please let me hear You distinctly despite myself so that if I do not obey it will be on my own head, but do not let it be because I cannot hear.
Are not sparrows two a farthing? and not one of them comes to an end without your Father:But the hairs of your head are all numbered. Then have no fear; you are of more value than a flock of sparrows. Matthew 10.29-31
--------
He is able to keep me from falling
It is He who gives me my heart
IF HE allows it to be taken away, how will I fight against Him?It must be enough
I have asked Him to show me His will and He knows that I am willing to do it
I do not know what else to do
-------------Dear God it is not that I do not listen to Your voice, but I need to hear it. Please let me hear You distinctly despite myself so that if I do not obey it will be on my own head, but do not let it be because I cannot hear.
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